Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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