On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize