I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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