just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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