your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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