i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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