chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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