you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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