Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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