i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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