his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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