Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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