To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Someone came in the potted fern
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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