This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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