Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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