my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Let's get the cat blown out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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