We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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