He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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