God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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