i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No subtext here. People are naked.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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