I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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