Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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