He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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