Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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