NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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