We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
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My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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