don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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