The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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