He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize