Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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