He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize