Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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