he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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