His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
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may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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