I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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