please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize