He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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