Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize