just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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