On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize