Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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