Screwed.edu
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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