So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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