bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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