I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Four minutes until I can fart!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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