he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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