Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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