Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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