um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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