we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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